الآباء ينسون كذلك [الأرشيف] - منتديات الشروق أونلاين

نجيب نون

03-01-2011, 05:28 PM

اسمعني صغيري... تنام وخدك يلتصق بصدرك وشفتاك يعكسان ناصيتك المبللة بالعرق....دخلت غرفتك خلسة وبهدوء..جئت لأقول لك ليلتك سعيدة ولاعترف لك.
قبل قليل عندما كنت منهمكا في قراءة الجريدة بمكتبي أصبت بموجة من الندم...فلقد كنت قاسيا جدا معك هذا النهار، ففي الصباح وعندما كنت تتهيأ للذهاب إلى المدرسة وبختك لأنك مررت المنشفة على أنفك، ثم لمتك لأنك لم تقم بمسح حذائك، وصحت في وجهك لأنك رميت لعبك على الأرض.
عند الفطور الصباحي أعدت تذكيرك بالنظام وألقيت عليك درسا في كيفية ترتيب الأشياء ومسح الحذاء كل صباح وكنت تسمعني وعيناك مسمرتين بوجهي وراسك يهتز من فوق إلى تحت علامة الموافقة وانك تسمعني وتفهم ما أقوله لك، بعدها انفلت كاس الحليب من يدك وأسقطته أرضا ونظرت إليك نظرة فيها غضب وحنق منك وقامت والدتك بمسح الحليب بسرعة وقدمت لك كأس أخرى وبقيت أنت تنظر إلي بخوف وذعر رسمتهما عيناك المعلقتين بي
عند الغذاء نظرت إليك لأنبهك انك تأكل الطعام بسرعة دون أن تمضغه جيدا وأنك تضع مرفقيك على الطاولة وانك شارد الذهن، وأنك تأكل السلاطة بالملعقة وانك أسرفت في شرب العصير.
عند توجهك إلى المدرسة في المساء اتجهت نحوي قبلتني وقلت لي:"إلى اللقاء أبي"، وأجبتك بوجه متجهم وجبين مقطب: "كن عاقلا.." وفي المساء وعند عودتي من العمل نفس الأغنية، أمام البيت كنت تلعب مع أصدقائك الكرة وسط الغبار، ولقد مزقت سروالك، وأهنتك أمام أصدقائك عندما أمرتك أن تتوقف عن اللعب وأن تسير أمامي إلى المنزل، وعند وصولنا دخلنا المنزل وبدأت:" ثمن السروال مرتفع هذه الأيام ولو كنت أنت من تدفع ثمنه لكنت أكثر محافظة عليه"، تصور صغيري أب يمن على ابنه تصور أن يحدث هذا من أب لابنه، هل تتذكر؟ بعدها انسحبت من أمامي وعلى وجهك ارتسمت ملامح الخجل مختلطة بملامح التعاسة نعم صغيري انسحبت بتعاسة انعكست حتى على مشيتك فقد أحنيت ظهرك وطأطأت رأسك.
بمكتبي وبينما كنت منهمكا بعملي رفعت رأسي لأجدك أمامي وسألتك بنبرة حادة: "ماذا هناك ماذا تريد؟"، ولم تجبني ويقيت تنظر إلي برهة ثم انطلقت نحوي مسرعا فاتحا ذراعيك وارتميت علي وطوقتني بذراعيك الصغيرتين وحاولت ضمي إليك بكل ذاك الإخلاص الذي يهز المشاعر والذي أزهره الله سبحانه وتعالى في قلبك، ورغم هذا بقيت أنا متمسكا ببرودتي المعهودة، وبعدها هربت مسرعا وسمعت وقع خطواتك وأنت تبتعد.
وهنا صغيري انزلقت أوراق كانت بيدي وسقطت على سطح المكتب وشعرت بقشعريرة اجتازت جسمي صاحبها خوف رهيب، هذا ما جنته علي طرقتي في الانتقاد واللوم، أب لا يعرف إلا توجيه اللوم والتوبيخ، إنني أعاقبك لأنك طفل، وليس لأنني منقوص من لمسة حنان وليس لأن الحنان لا يعرف طريقه إلى قلبي، ولكن لأنني انتظرت منك الكثير، لقد حكمت عليك من خلال سنوات تجربتي وخبرتي
بالرغم من أنه يوجد بداخلك روح نبيلة فيها الكثير من الكرم والولاء، قلبك الصغير كبير كفجر جديد يبزغ خلف التلال، وأنا لا أريد أن اشهد لك بهذا حتى تأتيني بعفويتك في الليل متمنيا لي ليلة سعيدة، ولننسى البقية الليلة يا صغيري جئتك راكعا أمام سريرك لأعترف لك بكل هذا، وأنا أعرف أنك لن تفهم الكثير من هذه الأشياء حتى لو أردت، ولكن سترى غدا إن شاء الله، فغد يوم جديد وأعدك أنني سأكون لك أب حقيقي وسأكون صديقك، سأضحك عندما تضحك، وسأبكي عندما تبكي، وإذا عاودتني الرغبة في لومك وتوبيخك فسأعض لساني حتى يؤلمني وعندها أتذكر أنه ما علي أن ألومك أو أوبخك، ولن أتوقف عن ترديد "إنه طفل صغير، ما هو إلا طفل صغير"
لقد أخطأت صغيري فقد عاملتك كأنك رجل عاقل كبير، الآن وأنا أتأملك في سريك الصغير متعب ووحيد أعرف جيدا أنك لست إلا صبي صغير.
بالأمس عندما كنت بين ذراعي والدتك وراسك فوق كتفها انتظرت منك الكثير...الكثير جدا.

the.edge

22-07-2025, 11:29 PM

countries remotely freelance graphic design visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-freelance-graphic-design-with-visa-options/)
skills required cybersecurity remote practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-cybersecurity-remote-jobs-a-practical-guide/)
side hustle full-time journey remote bookkeeping (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-remote-bookkeeping/)
market yourself clients remote roles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-market-yourself-and-get-clients-in-remote-hr-roles/)
first 1000 affiliate marketing experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-affiliate-marketing-no-experience-needed/)
remote sales profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-sales-jobs-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
countries remotely online teaching visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-online-teaching-with-visa-options/)
creating portfolio stands remote tech support (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-remote-tech-support/)
truth working freelance writing expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-freelance-writing-expectations-vs-reality/)
side hustle full-time journey remote roles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-remote-hr-roles/)
complete beginner starting career remote sales (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-remote-sales-jobs/)
remote boards post verified ecommerce home gigs (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/20-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-ecommerce-from-home-gigs-daily/)
remote boards post verified remote tech support (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/3-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-remote-tech-support-gigs-daily/)
complete beginner starting career remote bookkeeping (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-remote-bookkeeping/)
truth working freelance translation expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-freelance-translation-expectations-vs-reality/)
creating portfolio stands remote roles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-remote-hr-roles/)
skills required remote customer service practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-remote-customer-service-a-practical-guide/)
zero pro virtual assistant days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-virtual-assistant-work-in-90-days/)
ai-based remote beginners expect first month (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/ai-based-remote-jobs-for-beginners-what-to-expect-in-your-first-month/)
zero pro cybersecurity remote days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-cybersecurity-remote-jobs-in-90-days/)
tools apps need thrive ecommerce home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-tools-and-apps-you-need-to-thrive-in-ecommerce-from-home/)
future online teaching trends need know (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-online-teaching-trends-you-need-to-know/)
real income reports earn virtual assistant (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-virtual-assistant-work/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding digital marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/20-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-digital-marketing-jobs/)
remote sales fastest growing work-from-home careers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-remote-sales-jobs-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-work-from-home-careers/)
remote bookkeeping good choice digital nomads 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-bookkeeping-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
avoid common mistakes remote sales cost time (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-12-common-mistakes-in-remote-sales-jobs-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
remote tech support beginners expect first month (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/remote-tech-support-for-beginners-what-to-expect-in-your-first-month/)
real income reports earn voice-over online (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-voice-over-jobs-online/)
countries remotely freelance writing visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-freelance-writing-with-visa-options/)
complete beginner starting career remote customer service (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-remote-customer-service/)
truth working remote bookkeeping expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-remote-bookkeeping-expectations-vs-reality/)
first 1000 remote project management experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-remote-project-management-no-experience-needed/)
zero pro remote design days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-remote-ux-ui-design-in-90-days/)
remote customer service profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-customer-service-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
first 1000 ecommerce home experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-ecommerce-from-home-no-experience-needed/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding remote design (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/12-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-remote-ux-ui-design/)
truth working virtual assistant expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-virtual-assistant-work-expectations-vs-reality/)
future remote customer service trends need know (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-remote-customer-service-trends-you-need-to-know/)
side hustle full-time journey affiliate marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-affiliate-marketing/)
side hustle full-time journey remote sales (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-remote-sales-jobs/)
creating portfolio stands remote sales (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-remote-sales-jobs/)
countries remotely remote bookkeeping visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-remote-bookkeeping-with-visa-options/)
creating portfolio stands cybersecurity remote (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-cybersecurity-remote-jobs/)
online teaching beginners expect first month (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/online-teaching-for-beginners-what-to-expect-in-your-first-month/)
first 1000 online teaching experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-online-teaching-no-experience-needed/)
side hustle full-time journey freelance translation (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-freelance-translation/)
first 1000 freelance graphic design experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-freelance-graphic-design-no-experience-needed/)
truth working online teaching expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-online-teaching-expectations-vs-reality/)
first 1000 data entry home experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-data-entry-from-home-no-experience-needed/)
zero pro affiliate marketing days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-affiliate-marketing-in-90-days/)
remote boards post verified digital marketing gigs (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/20-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-digital-marketing-jobs-gigs-daily/)
remote design good choice digital nomads 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-ux-ui-design-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
real income reports earn remote project management (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-remote-project-management/)
real income reports earn digital marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-digital-marketing-jobs/)
truth working voice-over online expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-voice-over-jobs-online-expectations-vs-reality/)
remote bookkeeping fastest growing work-from-home careers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-remote-bookkeeping-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-work-from-home-careers/)
tools apps need thrive ai-based remote (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-tools-and-apps-you-need-to-thrive-in-ai-based-remote-jobs/)
remote boards post verified voice-over online gigs (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/15-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-voice-over-jobs-online-gigs-daily/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding remote bookkeeping (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/15-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-remote-bookkeeping/)
remote roles fastest growing work-from-home careers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-remote-hr-roles-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-work-from-home-careers/)
voice-over online profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-voice-over-jobs-online-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
real income reports earn remote bookkeeping (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-remote-bookkeeping/)
side hustle full-time journey data entry home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-data-entry-from-home/)
market yourself clients virtual assistant (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-market-yourself-and-get-clients-in-virtual-assistant-work/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding remote customer service (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/10-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-remote-customer-service/)
side hustle full-time journey online teaching (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-online-teaching/)
skills required remote software development practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-remote-software-development-a-practical-guide/)
market yourself clients remote tech support (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-market-yourself-and-get-clients-in-remote-tech-support/)
remote design fastest growing work-from-home careers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-remote-ux-ui-design-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-work-from-home-careers/)
real income reports earn freelance translation (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-freelance-translation/)
digital product selling good choice digital nomads (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-digital-product-selling-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
freelance translation profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-freelance-translation-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
ai-based remote good choice digital nomads 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-ai-based-remote-jobs-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
real income reports earn digital product selling (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-digital-product-selling/)
zero pro online teaching days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-online-teaching-in-90-days/)
websites find high-paying remote customer service 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-3-websites-to-find-high-paying-remote-customer-service-jobs-in-2025/)
zero pro remote roles days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-remote-hr-roles-in-90-days/)
skills required remote project management practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-remote-project-management-a-practical-guide/)
remote customer service good choice digital nomads (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-customer-service-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
countries remotely ai-based remote visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-ai-based-remote-jobs-with-visa-options/)
zero pro remote tech support days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-remote-tech-support-in-90-days/)
complete beginner starting career freelance writing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-freelance-writing/)
affiliate marketing fastest growing work-from-home careers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-affiliate-marketing-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-work-from-home-careers/)
complete beginner starting career remote design (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-remote-ux-ui-design/)
avoid common mistakes data entry home cost (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-10-common-mistakes-in-data-entry-from-home-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
first 1000 freelance translation experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-freelance-translation-no-experience-needed/)
first 1000 remote tech support experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-remote-tech-support-no-experience-needed/)
future voice-over online trends need know (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-voice-over-jobs-online-trends-you-need-to-know/)
complete beginner starting career remote project management (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-remote-project-management/)
freelance writing fastest growing work-from-home careers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-freelance-writing-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-work-from-home-careers/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding virtual assistant (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/20-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-virtual-assistant-work/)
real income reports earn online teaching (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-online-teaching/)
skills required remote design practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-remote-ux-ui-design-a-practical-guide/)
skills required ai-based remote practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-ai-based-remote-jobs-a-practical-guide/)
remote software development beginners expect first month (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/remote-software-development-for-beginners-what-to-expect-in-your-first-month/)
zero pro remote bookkeeping days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-remote-bookkeeping-in-90-days/)
remote software development profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-software-development-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
freelance graphic design profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-freelance-graphic-design-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
cybersecurity remote profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-cybersecurity-remote-jobs-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)