أجابات مسكته../3 [الأرشيف] - منتديات الشروق أونلاين

mustap

04-01-2011, 07:00 PM

راى رجل امراة في طريق مكة فتبعها فقالت مالك؟
قال: قد سلب حبك قلبي.
قالت: فلو رايت اختي فما تصنع؟؟
فالتفت فلم يرى احدا.
فقالت: ايها الكاذب في دعواه لو صدقت لما التفت

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كان (الجاحظ) واقفاً أمام بيته، فمرت قربه امرأة حسناء فابتسمت له، وقالت: لي إليك حاجة .
فقال الجاحظ: وما حاجتك؟
قالت: أريدك أن تذهب معي.
قال: إلى أين؟
قالت: اتبعني دون سؤال.
فتبعها الجاحظ إلى أن وصللا إلى دكان صائغ. وهناك قالت المرأة للصائغ:
مثل هذا. وانصرفت.
عندئذ سأل الجاحظ الصائغ عن معنى ما قالته المرأة، فقال له: لا مؤاخذة ياسيدي! لقد أتتني المرأة بخاتم، وطلبت مني أن أنقش عليه صورة شيطان. فقلت لها: ما رأيت شيطاناً في حياتي. فأتت بك إلى هنا لظنها أنك تشبهه.

*************

قال الاصمعي : رأيت بدوية من أحسن الناس وجها ولها زوج قبيح فقلت لها ياهذه أترضين ان تكوني تحت هذا ؟ فقالت : ياهذا لعله احسن فيما بينه وبين ربه فجعلني ثوابه وأسات فيما بيني وبين ربي فجعله عذابي افلا ارضى بما رضي الله به

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قال ابن قتيبة : جاءتني جارية بهدية ، فقلت لها : قد علم مولاك أني لا أقبل الهدية .

قالت : ولم ؟

قلت : أخشى أن تستمد مني علماً لأجل هديته .

فقالت : استمد الناس من رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أكثر وقد كان يقبل الهدية

فقبلتها فكانت الجارية أفقه مني .

****

وروي عن أخت بشر الحافي أنها سألت الإمام أحمد قائلة:

إننا نغزل على سطوحنا ، فتمر بنا مشاعل الظاهرية، ويقع علينا شعاعها ، أفيجوز لنا أن نغزل على شعاعها ؟

فقال: من أنت عافاك الله ؟

فقالت: أخت بشر الحافي.

فبكى وقال : من بيتكم يخرج الورع الصادق ، لا تغزلي في شعاعها

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قال الحججاج لامرأه من الخوارج :
والله لاعُدَنكم عَداً ولاَحصُدَنكُم حَصداً,قالت:
الله يزرع وانت تحصد فأين قدرة المخلوق من قدرة الخالق؟!.

*******

قابل احد الفقهاء احدى السيدات الجميلات فقال لها:
(وزيناها للناظرين),فقالت:
(وَحَفِظناها من كلِ شيطانٍ رَجيم),فقال:
(نريد أن نأكلَ منها وَ تَطمَئِنَ قلوبنا),قالت:
(لن تَنالوا البِر حتى تُنفِقوا مما تُحِبون),قال:
(وإذا لم يجدوا ما يُنفِقُون).قالت:
(أولئك عنها مبعدون).
فاغتاظ الرجل وقال:
ألا لعنةُ اللهِ على النساء اجمعين .فردت عليه قائلةٌ:
(للذكرِ مثلُ حظِ الاُنثَيين).

*****
وقفت امرأه دميمه على عطار فلما نظر اليها قال:
(وإذا الوحوشُ حُشِرَت).
فقالت له:
(وضَرَبَ لنا مَثلاً وَنَسِي خَلقَه)..

****
ساقت إعرابيه أربعه حمير, فالتقى بها رجلان فقالا لها:
نعمتِ صباحا يا ام الحمير,فاجابت على الفور:
نعمتم صباحا يا اولادي..

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23-07-2025, 01:49 AM

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