فكاهة العرب

[mustap]

فكاهة العرب




قرات كتاب فكاهة العرب واعجبني كثيرا فارتايت ان اسرد عليكم بعض ما جاء فيه من فكاهات ونوادر للعرب وارجو ان تعجبكم هذه المقتطفات:

قال ابو اسحاق الجهمي:لما صرف الحجاج قال لغلام له :تعال نتنكر وننظر مالنا عند الناس,فتنكرا وخرجا فمرا على المطلب غلام ابي لهب فقالا:ياهذا اي شيء خبر الحجاج؟
قال :على الحجاج لعنة الله
قالا:فمتى يخرج؟
قال :اخرج الله روحه من بين جنبيه,مايدريني؟
قال الحجاج :اتعرفني؟
قال :لا
قال :انا الحجاج بن يوسف
قال عبد المطلب:اتعرفني انت؟
قال :لا
قال: انا المطلب غلام ابي لهب ,مصروع اصرع في كل شهر ثلاثة ايام اولها اليوم
فتركه ومضى


- تزوج اعمى امراة,فقالت له:لو رايت حسني وبياضي لعجبت
فقال:لوكنت كما تقولين’ما تركك لي البصراء


- كان رجل في دار باجرة,وكان خشب السقف يتفرقع كثيرا,فلما جاء رب الدار يطالبه بالاجرة,قال له:اصلح هذا السقف فانه يتفرقع
قال:لاباس عليك فانه يسبح لله
قال:اخشى ان تدركه الرافة فيسجد


- روى الصلت بن محمد الجحدري قال:حدثني بشر بن الفضل قال:خرجنا حجاجا فمررنا بمياه من مياه العرب ,فوصف لنا فيه ثلاث اخوات بالجمال,وقيل لنا انهن يتطببن ويعالجن, فاحببنا ان نراهن ,فعمدنا الى صاحب لنا ,فحككنا ساقه بعود حتى ادميناه,ثم رفعناه على ايدينا وقلنا:هذا سليم"جريح قريب من الهلاك" فهل من راق
فخرجت اصغرهن,فاذا هي جارية كالشمس الطالعةوفجاءت حتى وقعت عليهوفقالت:ليس سليما
قلنا: وكيف؟
قالت:لانه خدشه عود بالت عليه حية ذكر والدليل انه اذا طلعت الشمس مات
فلما طلعت الشمس مات فعجبنا لذلك.

حدث ابن الاعرابي عن بعض مشايخه ان رجلا من بني تميم كانت له ابنة جميلة,وكان غيورا,فابتنى له في داره صومعة وجعلها فيها,وزوجها من اكفائه من بني عمها,وان فتى من كنانة مر بالصومعة فنظر اليها ونظرت اليه,فاشتد وجد كل واحد منهما بصاحبه’ولم يمكنه الوصول اليها,وانه افتعل بيتا من الشعر ودعا غلاما من الحي فعلمه البيت وقال له:ادخل هذه الدار وانشد كانك لاعب ,ولاترفع راسك ولاتصوبه و تومئ في ذلك الى احد
ففعل الغلام ما امر به وكان زوج الجارية قد ازمع على سفر بعد يوم او يومين,فانشا الغلام يقول:
لحى الله من يلحى على الحب اهله** ومن يمنع النفس اللجوج هواها
قال:فسمعت الجارية ففهمت,فقالت:
الا انما بين التفرق ليلة**وتعطى نفوس العاشقين مناها
قال:فسمعت الام ففهمت وانشات تقول:
الا انما تعنون ناقة رحلكم**فمن كان ذا نوق لديه رعاها
قال :فسمع الاب فانشا يقول:
فانا سنرعاها ونوثق قيدها**ونطرد عنها الوحش حين اتاها
فسمع الزوج ففهم فانشا يقول:
سمعت الذي قلتم فها انا مطلق**فتاتكم مهجورة لبلاها
قال:فطلقها الزوج وخطبها ذلك الفتى وارغبهم في المهر فتزوجها

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