نكت مبارك ههههههههههههههه

[أمـال الجـــــزائر]

الريس جمع البابا شنودة وشيخ الازهر وقال لهم "خلاص انا قررت اورث جمال الحكم من بعدى "
رد البابا "لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله "فاندهش الشيخ طنطاوى وسأله " انت اسلمت يا بابا ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟"فرد البابا " ماهى حاجه تخلى الواحد يكفر يا شيخ"

واحد راكب عربيته فى الشارع والمرور واقف . واحد خبط على الازاز وقاله" الريس مبارك خطفوه وطالبين فديه 5مليون دولار والا هيولعوا فيه ....وانت لازم تتبرع "سأله الراجل "طب والواحد يتربع من كام لكام"رد الراجل " من 5 الى 10 لتر بنزين"
بيقولك حسني كان عاوز يغيـر دولارات و مش لاقي في السوق , فراح منادي عاطف:
مفيش دولارات في السوق ليه يا ابن الهرمه ؟ -
عاطف :الحج و العمرة ياباشا خلصوا على الاحتياطي -
بقولك ايه ..حج ابه وبتاع ايه .. من السنة الجاية الحج يبقى في مصر -
عاطف:يا باشا .. ازاي بس -
اتصرف -
بعد يومين رجع عاطف و قاله : كله تمام يا باشا خلاص الحج حيبقى عندنا
الريس: طب و الكعبة حتعمل فيها ايه ؟ -
حنعملها في ميدان الحجاز - مصر الجديدة و يبقوا يلفوا حواليها -
الريس: طب و السعي ؟ -
ياباشا يبقوا يجروا في طريق صلاح سالم لغاية المطار و يرجعوا -
الريس: و عرفه ؟ -
يطلعوا المقطم ياباشا -
الريس: طب و رجم إبليس يا فالح ؟ -
إتعب معانا شوية بقى يا ريس -

بيقولك كمال الجنزوري جالو بعد ما شالوا من الوزارة وقالوا عايز أعرف انت
شيلتنى ليه ياريس
قالوا يا كمال يا حبيبي التغيير سُنة الحياه ، قالوا طيب شيلت وزير المواصلات ليه
قالوا يا كمال يا حبيبي التغيير سُنة الحياة ،
قالوا طيب ممكن أسالك سؤال اومال ليه انت الوحيد اللى مابتتغيرش
قالوا ياحبيبي تغييركم انتم سُنة لكن أنا وجودي " فرض



ان فى سرير المرض حينما أخذ يلقى بوصاياه الأخيرة لوزيره عاطف :

وصيتك الحكم من بعدى يا عاطف ..

فى رقبتى يا ريس .. كله تمام والسلطة هياخدها جمال ..

ثم راح فى غيبوبة .... أفاق منها بعد قليل

وصيتك الشعب من بعدى يا عاطف .

ما تخافش يا ريس .. الشعب ياكل الزلط ...

ثم راح فى غيبوبة .... أفاق منها بعد قليل

عاطف :نعم يا ريس

ماتنساش.. توكيل الزلط لعلاء ابنى .

البابا سال حسنى : ينفع اللى يمسك مصر يكون مسيحى ؟ رد حسنى : لاء . رد البابا : ولا .....قاطعه حسنى : ولا يهودى ..لازم يكون ملوش مله زيى .


علاء مبارك كان فى من سيربح المليون ووصل للسؤال الاخير والسؤال هو "من اسوء من حكم مصر فى العشرين عاما الاخيرة ؟ هل هو ابو علاء ام ابو جمال ام محمد حسنى مبارك ام الرئيس الحالى ؟ طلب الاتصال بصديق .....طلب اخوه جمال .......رد جمال : اخسر المليون ولا تخسرشى ابوك .

الرئيس صحى من النوم على مظاهرة كبيرة من اهل الاسكندريه . سالهم : فيه ايه ؟ ردوا : علاء بيه اخد حتة ارض متر فى متر بوضع اليد فى الاسكندريه . رد حسنى : يعنى جت على الواد الحيله سيبوه يبنى مستقبله الواد عايز يفتح محل وبعدين دى ارض متر فى متر ......... الناس مشت بعد ما الريس رضاهم . تانى يوم صحى على مظاهرة تانيه من اهل اسوان . سالهم : فيه ايه ؟ ردوا : جمال بيه اخد حتة ارض متر فى متر بوضع اليد فى اسوان . رد حسنى عليهم زى ما رد على بتوع الاسكندريه . والناس روحت بعد ما الريس رضاهم . تالت يوم صحى على مظاهرة من مصر كلها . سال : فيه ايه ؟ مش احنا خلصنا من موضوع المحلات بتاعت الولاد . ردوا الناس : المشكله يا ريس ان الاخين عايزين يفتحوا المحلين على بعض .

[284 asma]

icon30ههههههههههههههههه

[منير العاصمي]

مرسي على النكات خفيفة الظل

[ربيع الجزائر]

ههههههههههههههههههههههههههه

شكرا امال
مبارك يستاهل اكثر من هذ

[أمـال الجـــــزائر]

شكرا على مروركم اخواني الاعزاء

[ANGILINA]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
هايلين*********************************

[mustap]

هه
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ههههههههههههه
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[أمـال الجـــــزائر]

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