اسئلة واجوبة .... بتضحك --------- [الأرشيف] - منتديات الشروق أونلاين

mustap

31-01-2011, 05:41 PM

اسئلة واجوبة .... بتضحك ---------

لماذا خُلقت المرأة بكل هذا الجمال؟[

جـ - لكي يحبها الرجل
.
س - ولماذا خُلقت بكل هذا الغباء؟
جـ - لكي تحبه.

.س - كيف يمارس الرجل الرياضة على شاطيء البحر؟
جـ - يشفط كرشه كلما مرت أمامه فتاة جميلـة.

.س - كيف يعتبر الرجل نفسه متعاونا في الأعمال المنزلية؟
جـ - بأن يرفع رجليه من على الأرض لتكنس الزوجة تحتهما.

.*********.

.س - كيف يفهم الزوج تقسيم المهام مناصفة في أعمال المنزل؟
جـ - الزوجة تطبخ وهو يأكل.
.الزوجة تكوي الملابس وهو يكرمشها.
.هي تنظف البيت وهو يوسّخ.

.س - ما وجه الشبه بين الرجال وإعلانات التليفزيون؟
جـ - مفيش واحدة عاقلة تصدق ده ولا ده.

.س - لماذا لا يُحسن الرجال التعبير عن أحاسيسهم؟
جـ - وهمّ دول عندهم إحساس ؟.

.س - ما هي الحالة الوحيدة التي يطلب الرجل فيها من زوجته تناول العشاء في ضوء الشموع؟
جـ - لمّا الكهرباء تنقطع.

.س - كيف يمكنك التمييز بين هدايا الزوج الودية , وهداياه لما يكون عامل عملة؟
جـ - الهدايا بتبقى أحلى في الحالة الثانية.

.س - ما وجه الشبه بين الرجال والطقس؟
جـ - لا يمكن تغيير أي منهم للأفضل.

.س - ما الفرق بين رجل في الأربعين من عمره و امرأة من نفس السن؟
جـ - المرأة تتمنى أن تنجب طفلا صغيرا لتثبت أنها لا تزال شابة , بينما الرجل يحاول الزواج من شابة صغيرة لنفس السبب.

.س - ما وجه الشبه بين الرجل والشهادة الكبيرة؟
جـ - بتضيعي سنين من عمرك علشان تحصلي عليها , وبعدين ما تعرفيش تعملي بيها إيه.

.س - متى يتذكر الرجل أن المرأة تفتقر للتفكير المنطقي؟
جـ - عندما تختلف معه في الرأي.

.س - مدير اتعرض عليه ثلاث بنات علشان يختار منهم سكرتيرة , كلهم نجحوا في الإختبار بنفس الدرجات , فقرر يعمل لهم اختبار للأخلاق
أعطى لكل واحدة شنطة بها 1000 جنيه , وقال لها الشنطة دى فيها 500 جنيه , روحي البنك أودعيهم في حساب الشركة
أول واحدة لقيت المبلغ زايد .. رجعت الشركة وسألت المدير تعمل إيه
التانية أودعت 500 جنيه ورجّعت 500 للمدير
التالتة أودعت الألف كلهم وجابت وصل الإيداع للمدير
تفتكروا اختار مين؟
.ـــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ.
جـ - اللي لابسة ميني جيب
.

the.edge

24-07-2025, 10:35 PM

creative digital nomads ideas actually (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creative-digital-nomads-ideas-that-actually-work/)
succeeding online business (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-12-tips-for-succeeding-in-online-business/)
succeeding affiliate marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-20-tips-for-succeeding-in-affiliate-marketing/)
beginner budgeting 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/beginners-guide-to-budgeting-in-2025/)
business models based stock market (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-10-business-models-based-on-stock-market/)
countries low taxes gig economy (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/countries-with-low-taxes-for-gig-economy/)
investment beginners start today (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-5-investment-for-beginners-you-can-start-today/)
halal investing start today (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-7-halal-investing-you-can-start-today/)
succeeding budgeting (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-5-tips-for-succeeding-in-budgeting/)
ways money side hustles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-7-ways-to-make-money-with-side-hustles/)
remote related financial freedom (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-12-remote-jobs-related-to-financial-freedom/)
business models based side hustles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-7-business-models-based-on-side-hustles/)
business automation start today (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-5-business-automation-you-can-start-today/)
stock market change life 2026 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-stock-market-can-change-your-life-in-2026/)
succeeding online (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-7-tips-for-succeeding-in-online-jobs/)
experts say financial freedom 2026 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-experts-say-about-financial-freedom-in-2026/)
start freelancing 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-start-freelancing-in-2025/)
legal ways start online education home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/legal-ways-to-start-online-education-from-home/)
experts say side hustles 2026 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-experts-say-about-side-hustles-in-2026/)
countries supporting nomad visas 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-supporting-nomad-visas-in-2025/)
succeeding business (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-15-tips-for-succeeding-in-ai-in-business/)
succeeding side hustles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-10-tips-for-succeeding-in-side-hustles/)
remote related stock market (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-15-remote-jobs-related-to-stock-market/)
succeeding crypto trading (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-10-tips-for-succeeding-in-crypto-trading/)
creative online business legality ideas actually (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creative-online-business-legality-ideas-that-actually-work/)
succeeding affiliate marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-12-tips-for-succeeding-in-affiliate-marketing/)
nomad visas start today (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-20-nomad-visas-you-can-start-today/)
beginner financial freedom 2024 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/beginners-guide-to-financial-freedom-in-2024/)
tools need content creation (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-tools-you-need-for-content-creation/)
beginner remote 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/beginner%ef%bf%bds-guide-to-remote-work-in-2025/)
digital nomads booming right (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-digital-nomads-are-booming-right-now/)
smart strategies achieving financial freedom (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/smart-strategies-for-achieving-financial-freedom/)
legal ways start online business home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/legal-ways-to-start-an-online-business-from-home/)
tools need affiliate marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-15-tools-you-need-for-affiliate-marketing/)
opportunities online coaching tools shouldn miss (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/new-opportunities-in-online-coaching-tools-you-shouldn%ef%bf%bdt-miss/)
little-known hacks mastering online coaching tools (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/little-known-hacks-for-mastering-online-coaching-tools/)
future upwork alternatives explained simply (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-upwork-alternatives-explained-simply/)
latest trends freelance income follow (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/latest-trends-in-freelance-income-tips-you-should-follow/)
succeed cheap countries remote without prior experience (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-succeed-in-cheap-countries-remote-work-without-prior-experience/)
muslim digital nomad worth 2026 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-muslim-digital-nomad-still-worth-it-in-2026/)
step-by-step plan start upwork alternatives (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/a-step-by-step-plan-to-start-with-upwork-alternatives/)
smart ways earn freelancer productivity (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/smart-ways-to-earn-with-freelancer-productivity/)
pros cons freelance income (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-freelance-income-tips/)
made 1000 month using upwork alternatives (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-i-made-1000-month-using-upwork-alternatives/)
everything need know dropshipping countries 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-dropshipping-countries-2025/)
build passive income side gigs 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-build-passive-income-with-side-gigs-2025/)
tools halal freelancing platforms 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-10-tools-for-halal-freelancing-platforms-in-2025/)
most common myths cheap countries remote busted (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/most-common-myths-about-cheap-countries-remote-work-%ef%bf%bd-busted/)
most common myths coaching online business busted (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/most-common-myths-about-coaching-online-business-%ef%bf%bd-busted/)
hidden truth digital nomad tools (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-hidden-truth-about-digital-nomad-tools/)
pros cons digital nomad tools (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-digital-nomad-tools/)
little-known hacks mastering freelancer (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/little-known-hacks-for-mastering-freelancer-tips/)
little-known hacks mastering online scam (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/little-known-hacks-for-mastering-online-job-scam/)
countries cheap countries remote remotely (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-do-cheap-countries-remote-work-remotely/)
case study used online coaching tools grow (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/case-study-how-i-used-online-coaching-tools-to-grow-my-business/)
everything need know coaching online business (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-coaching-online-business/)
step-by-step plan start freelancers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/a-step-by-step-plan-to-start-with-ai-for-freelancers/)
ultimate beginner freelancer productivity (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-ultimate-beginners-guide-to-freelancer-productivity/)
ultimate beginner remote tools (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-ultimate-beginners-guide-to-remote-ux-tools/)
tools crypto payment freelancers 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-10-tools-for-crypto-payment-freelancers-in-2025/)
low investment business 2026 worth 2026 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-low-investment-business-2026-still-worth-it-in-2026/)
made 1000 month using online coaching tools (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-i-made-1000-month-using-online-coaching-tools/)
most common myths remote certifications busted (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/most-common-myths-about-remote-certifications-%ef%bf%bd-busted/)
transition office digital nomad tools (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-transition-from-office-to-digital-nomad-tools/)
pros cons remote certifications (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-remote-certifications/)
everything need know passive income online (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-passive-income-online/)
succeed coaching online business without prior experience (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-succeed-in-coaching-online-business-without-prior-experience/)
little-known hacks mastering freelancer productivity (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/little-known-hacks-for-mastering-freelancer-productivity/)
case study used online scam grow business (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/case-study-how-i-used-online-job-scam-to-grow-my-business/)
transition office cheap countries remote (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-transition-from-office-to-cheap-countries-remote-work/)
ultimate beginner freelance without resume (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-ultimate-beginners-guide-to-freelance-without-resume/)
ultimate beginner whatsapp (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-ultimate-beginners-guide-to-whatsapp-jobs/)
smart ways earn online scam (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/smart-ways-to-earn-with-online-job-scam/)
surprising benefits cheap countries remote (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-surprising-benefits-of-cheap-countries-remote-work/)
avoid mistakes freelancer productivity (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-mistakes-in-freelancer-productivity/)
countries freelance income remotely (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-do-freelance-income-tips-remotely/)
succeed low investment business 2026 without prior (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-succeed-in-low-investment-business-2026-without-prior-experience/)
tells coaching online business (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-no-one-tells-you-about-coaching-online-business/)
future freelancer productivity explained simply (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-freelancer-productivity-explained-simply/)
avoid mistakes freelancers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-mistakes-in-ai-for-freelancers/)
little-known hacks mastering halal freelancing platforms (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/little-known-hacks-for-mastering-halal-freelancing-platforms/)
transition office coaching online business (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-transition-from-office-to-coaching-online-business/)
2025 finding success freelance income (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/2025-guide-to-finding-success-with-freelance-income-tips/)
dropshipping countries 2025 trending year (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-dropshipping-countries-2025-is-trending-this-year/)
avoid mistakes halal freelancing platforms (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-mistakes-in-halal-freelancing-platforms/)
avoid mistakes crypto payment freelancers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-mistakes-in-crypto-payment-freelancers/)
succeed digital nomad visa 2025 without prior (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-succeed-in-digital-nomad-visa-2025-without-prior-experience/)
digital nomad tools worth 2026 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-digital-nomad-tools-still-worth-it-in-2026/)
automate workflow freelancers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-automate-your-workflow-with-ai-for-freelancers/)
avoid mistakes passive income online (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-mistakes-in-passive-income-online/)
most common myths remote whatsapp busted (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/most-common-myths-about-remote-job-whatsapp-%ef%bf%bd-busted/)
future low investment business 2026 explained simply (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-low-investment-business-2026-explained-simply/)
countries crypto payment freelancers remotely (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-do-crypto-payment-freelancers-remotely/)
latest trends remote certifications follow (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/latest-trends-in-remote-certifications-you-should-follow/)
tools side gigs 2025 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-10-tools-for-side-gigs-2025-in-2025/)
build passive income online coaching tools (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-build-passive-income-with-online-coaching-tools/)
freelance without resume worth 2026 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-freelance-without-resume-still-worth-it-in-2026/)
step-by-step plan start passive income online (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/a-step-by-step-plan-to-start-with-passive-income-online/)
made 1000 month using resume (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-i-made-1000-month-using-no-resume-jobs/)
pros cons remote whatsapp (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-remote-job-whatsapp/)