قناة الجزيرة وقطة (كُوُبَان)

[ابن حوران]

قناة الجزيرة وقطة (كُوُبَان)

كُوُبان رجلٌ أحب قطته كحبه لزوجته، كان إكرامه لقطته يتعادل مع إكرامه لزوجته.

سافر كوبان ليقضي عملاً له في دولة بعيدة، فوصلت له برقية أن احضر فوراً قطتك ماتت... فزع كوبان واشترى تذكرة مرتفعة السعر ليصل في وقته... لام كوبان من أرسل تلك البرقية، قائلاً: ما كان عليك أن تصدمني بتلك الفاجعة، فتساءل الآخر: ما الذي كان لا يصدمك؟ فقال: التدريج .. التدريج بالصدمة، برقية تقول أن قطتك تلعب كرة القدم، وأخرى بعدها بأسبوع قطتك سقطت وكُسرت رجلها، والأخيرة أن قطتك ماتت!

سافر كوبان مرة أخرى، فوصلته بعد أيام برقية تقول: امرأتك تلعب كرة القدم!

التقنية التي اقترحها كوبان على صاحبه، لم تكن اختراعاً مُسجلاً باسمه، بل كانت تلجأ لها الحكومات عندما تريد التخلص من ضابط في الجيش كبير، فتحيله الى التعبئة العامة أو الى مؤسسة لبيع المواد التموينية. وتتعامل به مع موظف دولة كبير، فتنقله من وزارة فاعلة الى مستشار، حتى يقضي بها فترة ثم يُحال الى التقاعد...

قناة الجزيرة، لا تخرج عن هذا النهج، فإذا استلمت ملف فإنها تطبق به ما عبَّر عنه العرب في المثل القائل (يظل ينحنح بالميت حتى يضرطه)، فبعد استلامها لملف صائب عريقات، ومن بعده تونس، ومن بعده مصر، أصبحت الأنظمة العربية تراقب من باب الفأل السيئ، من ستستلمه الجزيرة بعد ذلك!

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