حكم وامثال مضحكه

[mustap]

حكم وامثال مضحكه


* لا تحفر لأخيك ( حفرة ) حتى لا تتركها ( البلدية ) إلى الأبد !!!!!!

* الطالب الفاشل :
هو الطالب الذي يمكن أن يكون ( الأول ) على فصله !! .. لولا وجود الأخرين !!!!

* أكبر صدمة تتعرض لها ( الأم ) أنها تظل 20 عام تحاول تربية ولدها!!
.. ثم تأتي ( بنت الجيران ) فتروّضه في أيام !!!!!
* كل الأشياء ( تطول ) !! ... ما عداالفساتين !!!
* الممثلة : كلما كانت ملابسهاقصيرة كلما كانت أدوارها في أي فيلم ( طويلة ) !!!
* الحقيقة : هي الشئ الوحيد الذي ( لا ) يصدقه الناس !!!
** إذا كانت لك ذاكره قوية..وذكريات أليمة..فأنت أشقى أهل الأرض

** لا يجب أن تقول كل مـا تعرف..و لكن يجب أن تعرف كل ما تقول

** ليس من الصعب أن تضحي من أجل صديق..ولكن من الصغب أن تجد الصديق الذي يستحق التضحية

** في لحظه تشعر بأنك شخص في هذا العالم. بينما يوجد شخص بالعالم يشعر بأنك العالم بأسره

** إذا أحبك مليون فأنا معهم..وإذا أحبك واحد فهو أنا.. وإذا لم يحبك أحد..فأعلم أني مــت

** الصداقة كالمظلة..كلما اشتد المطر كلما ازدادت الحاجة لها

** كل شيء إذا كثر رخص..إلا الأدب فإنه ان كثر غـــلا

** الضمير صوت هادئ..يخبرك بأن أحدا ينظر إليك

** لا تتخيل كل الناس ملائكة فتنهار أحلامك .. ولا تجعل ثقتك بالناس عمياء لأنك ستبكي ذات يوم على سذاجتك

** الحياة مليئة بالحجارة .. فلا تتعثر بها بل اجمعها وابن بها سّلماتصعد به نحو النجاح

** كل شئ يبدأ صغيرا ثم يكبر..إلا المصيبة فإنها تبدأ كبيرة ثم تصغر

** الجوع يحكم نصف العالم !! ... و( الجنس ) يحكم النصف الآخر !!!

* ( التعري ) في الشارع خلاعة !! .. وعلى المسرح فن !! .. وعلى الشاطئ رياضة !!!

@ تعاريف :

* الحقيقة : هي الشئ الوحيد الذي ( لا ) يصدقه الناس !!!

* الأوكازيون : فرصة للحصول على الأشياء التي ( لا ) تحتاجها !!!!

* الزواج : جمع .. وطرح .. ثم ( ضرب ) !! ... ولكنه قبل ذلك ( قسمة ) !!!!

* المحامي : يدافع عن مال موكله ليكون من نصيبه هو !!!!

* المذيع : يخاطبنا بقوله ( أعزائي ) وهو لا يعرف أحد منّا !!!!

إعلان !! :
ورد في إحدى الصحف ( الأمريكية ) هذا الإعلان :
أعزائي القراء :

كل الأخطاء المطبعية التي تشاهدونها في هذه الصحيفة ( مقصودة ) !!!!!!

لأن هناك من القراء هوايتهم تتبع الأخطاء المطبعية . لذلك وضعنا هذه ( الأخطاء ) تحقيقاً لإرضاء كل الأذواق .

الأرشادات الصحية الحديثة !! :

* نم مبكراً قبل انقطاع ( الكهرباء )!! ... واستيقظ مبكراً قبل انقطاع ( الماء ) !!! ..

[the.edge]

avoid common mistakes voice-over online cost time (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-12-common-mistakes-in-voice-over-jobs-online-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
tools apps need thrive digital marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-tools-and-apps-you-need-to-thrive-in-digital-marketing-jobs/)
avoid common mistakes freelance writing cost time (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-10-common-mistakes-in-freelance-writing-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
virtual assistant profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-virtual-assistant-work-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
remote boards post verified freelance translation gigs (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/10-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-freelance-translation-gigs-daily/)
market yourself clients data entry home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-market-yourself-and-get-clients-in-data-entry-from-home/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding remote roles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/7-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-remote-hr-roles/)
data entry home good choice digital nomads (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-data-entry-from-home-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
tools apps need thrive remote project management (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-tools-and-apps-you-need-to-thrive-in-remote-project-management/)
affiliate marketing good choice digital nomads 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-affiliate-marketing-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
complete beginner starting career remote roles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-remote-hr-roles/)
websites find high-paying ai-based remote 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-7-websites-to-find-high-paying-ai-based-remote-jobs-jobs-in-2025/)
creating portfolio stands online teaching (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-online-teaching/)
zero pro freelance translation days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-freelance-translation-in-90-days/)
avoid common mistakes remote design cost time (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-12-common-mistakes-in-remote-ux-ui-design-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
remote boards post verified remote software development (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/15-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-remote-software-development-gigs-daily/)
avoid common mistakes remote software development cost (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-5-common-mistakes-in-remote-software-development-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
websites find high-paying remote project management 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-12-websites-to-find-high-paying-remote-project-management-jobs-in-2025/)
real income reports earn remote software development (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-remote-software-development/)
freelance translation fastest growing work-from-home careers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-freelance-translation-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-work-from-home-careers/)
remote boards post verified remote customer service (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/3-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-remote-customer-service-gigs-daily/)
remote boards post verified freelance graphic design (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/5-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-freelance-graphic-design-gigs-daily/)
websites find high-paying ecommerce home 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-15-websites-to-find-high-paying-ecommerce-from-home-jobs-in-2025/)
market yourself clients remote design (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-market-yourself-and-get-clients-in-remote-ux-ui-design/)
websites find high-paying remote software development 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-10-websites-to-find-high-paying-remote-software-development-jobs-in-2025/)
real income reports earn remote design (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-remote-ux-ui-design/)
freelance graphic design beginners expect first month (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/freelance-graphic-design-for-beginners-what-to-expect-in-your-first-month/)
remote bookkeeping profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-bookkeeping-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
countries remotely digital marketing visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-digital-marketing-jobs-with-visa-options/)
creating portfolio stands voice-over online (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-voice-over-jobs-online/)
side hustle full-time journey cybersecurity remote (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-cybersecurity-remote-jobs/)
skills required remote tech support practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-remote-tech-support-a-practical-guide/)
first 1000 cybersecurity remote experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-cybersecurity-remote-jobs-no-experience-needed/)
remote boards post verified remote bookkeeping gigs (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/15-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-remote-bookkeeping-gigs-daily/)
avoid common mistakes digital product selling cost (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-10-common-mistakes-in-digital-product-selling-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
zero pro ecommerce home days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-ecommerce-from-home-in-90-days/)
tools apps need thrive remote roles (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-tools-and-apps-you-need-to-thrive-in-remote-hr-roles/)
market yourself clients remote sales (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-market-yourself-and-get-clients-in-remote-sales-jobs/)
remote boards post verified virtual assistant gigs (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/20-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-virtual-assistant-work-gigs-daily/)
digital product selling profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-digital-product-selling-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
creating portfolio stands ai-based remote (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-ai-based-remote-jobs/)
complete beginner starting career data entry home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-data-entry-from-home/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding remote tech support (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/5-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-remote-tech-support/)
real income reports earn ecommerce home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-ecommerce-from-home/)
real income reports earn ai-based remote (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-ai-based-remote-jobs/)
market yourself clients remote bookkeeping (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-market-yourself-and-get-clients-in-remote-bookkeeping/)
virtual assistant fastest growing work-from-home careers (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/why-virtual-assistant-work-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-work-from-home-careers/)
websites find high-paying freelance translation 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-12-websites-to-find-high-paying-freelance-translation-jobs-in-2025/)
complete beginner starting career digital marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-digital-marketing-jobs/)
real income reports earn remote tech support (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-remote-tech-support/)
zero pro remote project management days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-remote-project-management-in-90-days/)
creating portfolio stands digital marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-digital-marketing-jobs/)
creating portfolio stands data entry home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-data-entry-from-home/)
avoid common mistakes remote customer service cost (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-20-common-mistakes-in-remote-customer-service-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
truth working digital product selling expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-digital-product-selling-expectations-vs-reality/)
remote software development good choice digital nomads (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-software-development-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
skills required digital marketing practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-digital-marketing-jobs-a-practical-guide/)
future freelance writing trends need know (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-freelance-writing-trends-you-need-to-know/)
remote boards post verified freelance writing gigs (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/15-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-freelance-writing-gigs-daily/)
websites find high-paying freelance writing 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-20-websites-to-find-high-paying-freelance-writing-jobs-in-2025/)
countries remotely remote customer service visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-remote-customer-service-with-visa-options/)
creating portfolio stands remote design (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-remote-ux-ui-design/)
skills required data entry home practical (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-skills-are-required-for-data-entry-from-home-a-practical-guide/)
creating portfolio stands ecommerce home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-ecommerce-from-home/)
remote roles good choice digital nomads 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-remote-hr-roles-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
affiliate marketing profitable 2025 experts say (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-affiliate-marketing-still-profitable-in-2025-what-experts-say/)
freelance graphic design good choice digital nomads (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-freelance-graphic-design-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding freelance writing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/5-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-freelance-writing/)
market yourself clients voice-over online (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-market-yourself-and-get-clients-in-voice-over-jobs-online/)
creating portfolio stands remote customer service (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/creating-a-portfolio-that-stands-out-in-remote-customer-service/)
first 1000 remote roles experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-remote-hr-roles-no-experience-needed/)
websites find high-paying voice-over online 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-10-websites-to-find-high-paying-voice-over-jobs-online-jobs-in-2025/)
future remote sales trends need know (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-remote-sales-jobs-trends-you-need-to-know/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding cybersecurity remote (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/20-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-cybersecurity-remote-jobs/)
first 1000 digital marketing experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-digital-marketing-jobs-no-experience-needed/)
zero pro remote customer service days (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-go-from-zero-to-pro-in-remote-customer-service-in-90-days/)
truth working remote customer service expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-remote-customer-service-expectations-vs-reality/)
avoid common mistakes cybersecurity remote cost time (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/avoid-these-20-common-mistakes-in-cybersecurity-remote-jobs-that-cost-you-time-and-money/)
freelance writing beginners expect first month (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/freelance-writing-for-beginners-what-to-expect-in-your-first-month/)
truth working freelance graphic design expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-freelance-graphic-design-expectations-vs-reality/)
real income reports earn freelance writing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/real-income-reports-how-much-you-can-earn-in-freelance-writing/)
truth working ai-based remote expectations reality (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-truth-about-working-in-ai-based-remote-jobs-expectations-vs-reality/)
countries remotely data entry home visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-data-entry-from-home-with-visa-options/)
remote project management beginners expect first month (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/remote-project-management-for-beginners-what-to-expect-in-your-first-month/)
complete beginner starting career virtual assistant (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-starting-a-career-in-virtual-assistant-work/)
side hustle full-time journey freelance writing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-freelance-writing/)
side hustle full-time journey digital marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/from-side-hustle-to-full-time-my-journey-in-digital-marketing-jobs/)
websites find high-paying remote roles 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-7-websites-to-find-high-paying-remote-hr-roles-jobs-in-2025/)
future remote tech support trends need know (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/the-future-of-remote-tech-support-trends-you-need-to-know/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding affiliate marketing (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/15-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-affiliate-marketing/)
websites find high-paying affiliate marketing 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-7-websites-to-find-high-paying-affiliate-marketing-jobs-in-2025/)
first 1000 remote customer service experience needed (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/how-to-make-your-first-1000-in-remote-customer-service-no-experience-needed/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding data entry home (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/3-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-data-entry-from-home/)
cybersecurity remote good choice digital nomads 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/is-cybersecurity-remote-jobs-a-good-choice-for-digital-nomads-in-2025/)
countries remotely cybersecurity remote visa options (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/best-countries-to-work-remotely-in-cybersecurity-remote-jobs-with-visa-options/)
remote boards post verified remote roles gigs (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/3-remote-job-boards-that-post-verified-remote-hr-roles-gigs-daily/)
freelancers share secrets succeeding freelance translation (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/3-freelancers-share-their-secrets-to-succeeding-in-freelance-translation/)
websites find high-paying digital product selling 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/top-12-websites-to-find-high-paying-digital-product-selling-jobs-in-2025/)
inside life full-time online research freelancer (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/inside-the-life-of-a-full-time-online-research-jobs-freelancer/)
makes great freelance video editing resume 2025 (https://jobs.sahla-dz.com/what-makes-a-great-freelance-video-editing-resume-in-2025/)