خيمة مجنون ليبيا

[نبيل عزاب]

خيمة مجنون ليبيا

مجنون ليبيا لا يحبذ مظاهر التكنولوجيا والتقدم المختلفة لذلك فهو يتفاداها، فقد رفض فكرة تحويل طرابلس ‬إلى ‬دبي ‬بالأبراج ‬العالية ‬وكان ‬رده ‬على ‬أصحاب ‬مشروع ‬تحديث ‬طرابلس ‬بالقول ‬إن ‬الزلازل ‬ستحدث ‬مآسي ‬في ‬حالة ‬العمارات ‬الشاهقة ‬ثم ‬سنّ ‬لنفسه ‬الخيمة ‬كمكان ‬لاستقبال ‬ضيوفه ‬وصارت ‬مسكنا ‬قارا ‬له.‬
ولأن مجنون ليبيا يخاف من الزلازل وانهيار الجدران الإسمنتية على جسده فإنه صار يشترط على البلدان التي يتنقل نحوها اصطحاب خيمته الفاخرة، وكثيرا ما يحدث الكثير من الطوارئ كما حدث عام 2007 في باريس، حيث نقل خيمته وتم نصبها في ساحة مارتيي على بعد أمتار من الشانزيليزيه، ورغم أن بلدية باريس رفضت في بادئ الأمر الخيمة إلا أنها بعد ذلك استحسنت الأمر عندما أصبحت الخيمة مزارا سياحيا سرق الأضواء عن برج إيفل التاريخي وأخذ الفرنسيون وسواح باريس صورا بجوار خيمة القذافي التي ظهرت أنها فخمة وعلموا جميعا أنها مؤسسة قائمة بذاتها وليست ‬خيمة ‬من ‬نسيج ‬وقماش ‬كما ‬هي ‬خيمات ‬الفقراء.‬
أما في رحلته الأخيرة إلى الولايات المتحدة فقد نقل خيمته أيضا إلى نيوجرسي في أوت 2009 وأدى ذلك إلى مظاهرة ليست مناهضة للمجنون في الولايات المتحدة وإنما مناهضة للخيمة خاصة أنه شاع أن الرجل سيحضر الماعز وخاصة الناقة ..
وإذا كان المجنون لا يشترط بالضرورة نقل ناقته خاصة أن الناقة تبعته بنكتها الطريفة مثل تعرضها للإسهال في الطائرة فإن الخيمة صارت من شروطه وقد تم نصبها في رحلة مطولة قادته في صائفة 2003 إلى الجزائر، حيث صيّف معمر وبعد مغادرته الجزائر العاصمة قدّم لها هدية تمثلت في أضواء مزركشة تم وضعها في قلب العاصمة، ولكنها احترقت مع زخات المطر الخريفية الأولى، المجنون كان يرد على الصحافيين العالميين عندما يسألوه عن سر نقل الخيمة معه فيرد بأنه لو كان بإمكانه نقل الرمال والسماء الصافية والنخيل لفعل، ولكن اتضح بعد ذلك أنها فوبيا الموت وليس حبا في الأصالة. والدليل على ذلك أن تنقل المجنون بخيمته يتطلب نقل 400 من الحرس الخاص به يحيطون من حول خيمة مصنوعة بمادة ضد الرصاص وقيل إن الدبابة لو حاولت اقتحامها ستنفجر ولا تشتعل الخيمة، وساهم في تشييدها أوكرانيون ومجريون وكوبيون، بينما يعتبر خبراء علم النفس تشبث المجنون بالخيمة بمرض نفسي يجعله يتشبّه بالأنبياء الذين عاشوا جميعا في الخيم وتشبّه الناقة التي وصلته من قبيلة "دهم" اليمنية عبر طائرة خاصة بناقة الرسول الكريم، بينما يرى أهل النكتة أن تشبثه بالخيمة هو علاقته بالذبابة أولا وأخيرا. ‬

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