اعطوني رايكم من فضلكم

[ام ايناس]

tearstearsما رايكم في الزوجة التي تحب زوجها حتى الموت وتحب ان تراه احسن الناس اما هو فحتى النفقة يحسبها صدقة واذا اخذ بنصيحتها مع العلم انها الصواب بعينه فانه يحسب نفسه قدم لها خدمة وحملها جميل طول حياتها اهكذا تكون العلاقة الزوجية الا يحق للزوجة بكلمة تقدير ام ان الحياة صارت لمن يدفع فقط ردو عليا والله انا زوجة حاىرة ولم استطيع اقناع نفسي بالعكس مع انني اعلم ان منتدانا فيه شوية انتقاىية حتى لا اقل (تكبر( عذرا تحياتي وشكرا

[منتصر أبوفرحة]

يا ام ايناس انت ما تقدميه فهو لله ولن يضيع شيء عند الله ابدا .....ولك للاجر لاذن الله .. اما الزوج ان كان هذا خلقه فلا تملكين غير الدعاء والصبر والاحتساب .... وباذن الله ستجدين ما قدمتيه عند الله محفوظا والله اعلم

[تولاي]

السلام اخيتي
عليكي بالصبر وحاولي ان تتكلمي مع زوجك بانك تحبينه ولا تحبين منه هده التصرفات
حاولي ان تشعريه انه مهم بالنسبة لك وانك تريدين مصلحته ان اهم حل هو الحوار ومشاركة بعضكما البعض في كل صغيرة وكبيرة
وفقك الله لكل ما يحبه ويرضاه

[ام ايناس]

اشكركم احبتي اسعدني مروركم والله اني احتسب اجري على الله ولكن لا الومه الاحبا فيه

[wisards2004]

tearstearsما رايكم في الزوجة التي تحب زوجها حتى الموت وتحب ان تراه احسن الناس اما هو فحتى النفقة يحسبها صدقة واذا اخذ بنصيحتها مع العلم انها الصواب بعينه فانه يحسب نفسه قدم لها خدمة وحملها جميل طول حياتها اهكذا تكون العلاقة الزوجية الا يحق للزوجة بكلمة تقدير ام ان الحياة صارت لمن يدفع فقط ردو عليا والله انا زوجة حاىرة ولم استطيع اقناع نفسي بالعكس مع انني اعلم ان منتدانا فيه شوية انتقاىية حتى لا اقل (تكبر( عذرا تحياتي وشكرا

السلام عليكم //

الرجل على قدْر بساطته فهو معقد أن يفهم،
إذن طرحك شيء عادي جداً ، يتطلب معلومات سطحية في علم النفس و الغوص بعض الشيء في نفسية الرجل لفك رمُوزه ،

أغلبية الرجال لا يتكلمون كثيراً ، خاصة فيما يخص مدح المرأة أو شكرها ، هذا أكيد ، و يعّبرون عن دواخلهم بأفعال لا بكلمات و عبارات ،،،

هناك نوع عصبي ، لكنه لا يضرك ،الإساءة الوحيدة هي أن يبرز مظاهر إنفعالاته أمام العامة و يحرجك أمام الغير و لا أظنه فاعلها ،،،
لا يتواصل معك فكرياً ، لكنه عملياً يتجاوب مع معطيات الحياة و يعي واجباته ، رغم أنه يؤديها كأنه مكره ،تقلقه ثرثرة النساء و يحتقر آراءها ،و يستكبر و يحتج على طلباتها لكن وقت الشدّة القصوى ، لن يخدلك كأولوية وحيدة ، بموقف مفعم بالشهامة و يستفيه قدر حقه ،،،
يزعجه صوْت زوجته ، و تحدث له ضجيج دماغي بكلامها ، لكن يعود إليها وقت ضعفه للإصغاء إليها بهدوء ، بلطف و براءة أطفال حين تضيق به ،،،

الرجال ، أصناف ، فصائل ، أعماق ، و أعالي ، و الخطأ المدّمر هو أن تقوم العلاقة الزوجية على المقارنة ، و الإسقاط على نموذج واحد ،،،

تحاياي ....

[دمعة حزينة]

حبيبتي الرفق والين ما كان في شيء الا زانه وما نزع من شيء الا شانه
كوني لينة ودود حنون على زوجك وادا قدمتي له نصحا فأنت أعلم الناس بخلق وطباع زوجك فلا تجعلي نصائحك أوامر أو أن تتلفظي بكلمات تجعله لا يقبل منك النصيحة مثل "ان لم تأخد بنصيحتي سوف ترى وووو" احدري أخيتي مثل هده التصرفات
فالرجل يؤثر فيه حسك الأنثوي فأظهري له جانب أنوتثك ووظفيها في معاملتك معه فانها أقوى سلاح كوني طيبة رفيقة به وشاركيه في ما يحب القيام به من أعمال ولو بكلمة طيبة
هدا والله أعلم سيغير من زوجك بادن االله بعد التوكل عليه والاستعانة به والدعاء والله وحده الموفق
أسعدك الله به وأسعده بك وحببك اليه وحببه اليك
آمين والمعدرة ان خرجت عن نطاق سؤالك
فقط نصائح وأفكار أحببت أن أفيدك بها بادن الله

[نوركيم]

سا جيب بالرغم من اني لم اكون اسرة بعد ...

و لكن بما تعلمناه وسمعناه وطاالعناه .. ..

كل مما هو بعد الزواج لا يرضي الطرفين او احد الطرفين ...

سيكون سببه حتما انه قبل الزواج ماذا كان هدف الطرفين في اللقاء مع بعضهما ؟ او الزواج

عندها تتحدد اشياء كثيرة ...
..
اي انه ما هو هدفك من الزواج . وعلى اي اساس كونت العلاقة ..

علاقة لاجل الله ... ام علاقة لاجل الناس .. هذا موضوع واسع وشاسع وليس لي الوقت في الحديث عنه

*********

اما عن الجواب .. فان حصل الذي حصل وادركت المراة عيب رجلها .. فهي تملك المفتاح ..

الذي هو كالاتي .

عدم ازعاج زوجها بما تراه يزعجه وعدم الخوض ابدا في هذه الامور .

معاكسته بالكلام ليس في صالحها ..

بل الذي في صالحها هو الصبر عليه وطاعته في ما يرضي ربها ..

و عندها مع الصبر و بمرور الوقت تتضح امامه معالم اخرى لزوجته صارت تمثل له زوجة جديدة ..فعندها ترمي هي سنارتها لتصداده من جديد وتحكم القبضة .

هذا وباختصار ..

شكرا .

[Smile of hope]

السلام عليكم

إنّ المرأة هي مخلوق سمعي بالدرجة الأولى,فهي تُحبّ دائماً منْ يُثني عليها و يقدّر مجهودها و تضحياتها وسط عائلتها ولو كان بمجرّد كلمة شكرْ وهو أضعفْ الإيمانْ.
كما أنّ الرّجل هو أكثر شخص مدرك لهذه الحقيقة, و أيّ تصرّف بعدمّ مبالاةْ أو إهمالْ قد يكون له عذّة تفسيراتْ.
فمثلاً قدّ يُفسّرْ الصّمتْ الدّائمْ لدى الرّجل مع زوجته بنوع من عدمّ الرّضى على وضعيّة ما أو ما يٌسمّى في علم النّفس بالعقابْ و العتابْ اللاّلفظي ففكرة أنّ الرّجل لا يتكلّم أو أنّ لحظاتْ صمته هي أطول من لحظاتْ صمتْ المرأة ليست صحيحة على الدّوامْ, فلوْ أراد هذا الأخير أن يتكلّم لوجد ألف موضوع لمناقشته مع زوجته و لوْ تعلّق الأمر بأتفه المواضيعْ,بدليل أنّه يُطيل الحديث مع أصدقائه في حين أنّه يعجز عن التلّفظ بمجرد كلمة مع زوجته.

المهمّ لابدّ من إبتكارْ الحلول,و ذلك لا يتمّ سوى بالحوارْ الهادئ كأن يُفصح كلّ طرف عن الأمور التّي تُزعجه في الطّرفْ الآخرْ, و المرأة عادة ما تكون مطالبة ببذل مزيد من الجهدْ لإحتواءْ الموقفْ بمزيدْ من الحكمة و لين في المعاملة.
كما يمكنْ أن يكون للروتين دور في ذلك لذا فمن المستحبّ كسر الحياة الزوجية الروتينية بتنظيم رحلة قصيرة للإبتعادْ عن جوّ المنزلْ أو غيرها من الحلولْ التّي لا تتطلّبْ سوى القليلْ من الجهد في الإنصاتْ.
أسعدك الله أختي وزرع بينكما المودّة و الطمأنينة .


يُنْقَلْ المَوْضُوعْ للقسْمْ المُنَاسبْ

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