لما ينتابني شعور غريب ...وكأنني لا أنتمي لهذا العالم ...رغم أنني جزائري

[msboubekeur]

بعد تفكير عميق، وتوتر أخاذ ... تتلاصق الحروف في مفكرتي وأقول :
ألست جزائريا؟ ...
أليست الجزائر دولة مستقلة لا تعاني التبعية السياسية؟ ...
أليست الجزائر دولة من إحدى دول العالم؟ العالم الذي نعيش فيه ...
أأستحي أن أذكر أنني جزائري ؟
أولست بشرا من دم ولحم وعظم؟
كلها تساؤلات تدور في ذهني ، ولا أجرؤ أن أبوح بها، إلا أنها دارات وصالت جوارحي كلها ، وكلما مرّت بجارحة إلا وآلمتني . لماذا؟
وأبدأ في التفكير جديا لأجد الإجابات الوافية والشافية لتشبع فضول تساؤلاتي، وأجيب نفسي...
بلى أنا جزائري ... فلماذا أُهان ؟ ولماذا يُنظر إليّ على أنني الغريب، على أنني من جيل لا ينتمي للرجال الذين حرروا الجزائر، أوهكذا يقاس الرجال؟
بلى، الجزائر دولة حررها الرجال و النساء، ومنحوها استقلالها وذاتيها ، فلماذا يقال : "الجزائر ؟ آه تقصد فرنسا ...".
بلى تلك الجزائر دولة من دول العالم، دولة مساحتها أكبر من ربع مساحة الصين، وتاريخها مجيد عريق ، وإسمها يرن في الأذن، فتسري القشعريرة في بدن كل غيور لمجرد سماع صوت نشيها الوطني ، أو رؤية ألوان علمها ترفرف في سماءات بلدان أخرى. فلماذا وأنا أسير في بلدي وأرى أعلامنا تترامي فوق السطوح مطروحة ممزقة كأشلال معدم، ينتابني شعور اللاإنتماء؟
ومخافة أن أعامل كاللص في مطارات الدول الأخرى، أتحاشى أن أكون الأول الذي يمرر أمتعته وأفضل أن أكون الأخير، لا لشيء إلا لأنني أفضل أن أهان لوحدي، ومع ذلك أجد نفسي في بداية الصف أو في وسطه ، ويُنظر إلى جزازسفري بالمقلوب... أو آسف لذلك ؟ كلا ولكن آمل أن يتغير كل هذا.
بلى، أنا بشر من لحم وعظم فأنا أذهب لمستشفى البشر لا للبيطري، لكن دمي ... تنقصه الغيرة على الوطن، ينقصه الشعور بالغضب إزاء دولتي، لا الغضب عليها، ولكن لها...
لم يعلمني أحد أن أفخر لكوني جزائريا، أنعم بريعها وخيراتها وتمنحني الدفئ والهناء
لم يذكرني أحد أنني أدين لبلدي لما منحتني إياهُ من عطاءات
إلا أنه هناك من ذكرني ويذكرني كل يوم، أنني سأحاسب في يوم عسير وسأُسأل عما قدمت لبلدي... فأفكر ماذا أقول؟
جزائري لم تنهكه الحياة بعد، ولكن أنهكه صراع الناس على الحياة.

[mariam2009]

mawdo3 rae23 akhi barek allh fik

[the.edge]

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