كآن يآ مكآن " حكآية من وحي الغآبة "

[بـــروال آمـــال]

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله تعالى و بركاته

و من الريف إلى الغابة ... قصة قصيرة وظفت فيها السجع ، أترككم معها و أتمنى أن تنال إعجابكم

كان يا مكان في قديم الزمان ... و سالف العصر و الأوان ... كانت هناك غابة مليئة بالثمار و الألوان ... يبهي عشبها النرجس و الأقحوان و تعزف موسيقاها الطيور و الوديان ... و آمنة لا يعيش فيها أي إنسان ... فكانت ملكا لأنواع الحيوان ... يرأسها الأسد الهمام يا إخوان ... شاءت الأقدار ذات يوم ... أن يبدأ هم فوق رأس الأدغال بالحوم ... فانتشر المرض و الوباء ... بسبب ندرة الماء ... فاجتمعت الحيوانات يا أعزاء ... و قررت البحث عن الدواء ...
قال الأسد : إذا استمرينا على هذه الحال فلن تكفينا مياه السد ... فمن لديه الحل السؤدد ؟ أجاب الثعلب : كلامك صحيح و من يفكر بغير ذلك فهو مذنب ...
قال الذئب المستشار : أنا أرى يا أهل الدار ... أن نبعث العصافير لتقصي الأخبار و معرفة الأسرار ... قال الحسون : نعم الرأي أشرت ... و انتشر في المكان السكون ... قال الأسد : إذن فقد بلغت ...
طارت العصافير بعيدا نحو الأفق ... و لم يكد يظهر الشفق ... حتى برز الأمل و ... وجدت سبب العطل ... قال أبو الحناء : يا إلهي ! ماذا حدث للماء ؟؟؟ أجابه الببغاء : ألا ترى تلك الصخور التي تشبه قلوب البشر الصماء ؟ لقد وضعوها هناك مما منع تدفق الماء ... أردف الكناري : إنهم أنانيون و الطبع في نفوسهم جاري ... قالت بعض العصافير الصغيرة : ماذا نفعل ؟ فمصيبتنا كبيرة ... و نحن في حالة مريرة ... قاطعها الحسون : لا تيأسو ... فيدا واحدة سنكون ...
عاد الأوفياء و معهم الأنباء : إنهم البشر الأشقياء ، يريدون تدميرنا و يعجلون بنا للفناء ، منعوا علينا ما أحله لنا رب الأرض و السماء ... و لم يفكروا بمصيرنا ؛ فيا لضمائرهم السوداء ...
الزرافة : لقد أصبحت الأرض الخضراء جافة ...
قال الملك : انهضو يا أصدقائي ... و دعونا نضع يدا بيد لنقضي على الأعداء ...
تأهب الجميع و استعد ... و كل وسائل الحرب أعد ... و بدأ الهجوم للقضاء على المشؤوم ... بعد مغادرة آخر شخص عميل ؛ جاء دور الفيل ... و دفع الحجارة ذات الوزن الثقيل ، و ساعده من استطاع من الأصدقاء ؛ فكان التعاون بينهم جميل ... و بعد أن أزاحوا كل الحجر ... بقيت الذئاب تحرس النهر ... و هجمت على من عاد من البشر ... فولوا مرتعبين يبحثون عن المفر ... و لم يرجعوا ؛ و هكذا انتهى الأمر ... و عادت الحيوانات سعيدة بالظفر !!!

في انتظار آرائكم و انتقاداتكم

ودي

[علي قوادري]

قصة تستحضر روح المقفى وطريقته في سرد الاحداث على لسان الحيوان..
هكذا قصص توجه للاطفال ففيها لغة سهلة تجذب السامع إليها..
جميل ماتكتبين بنيتي واصلي رعاك الله.

[بـــروال آمـــال]

قصة تستحضر روح المقفى وطريقته في سرد الاحداث على لسان الحيوان..
هكذا قصص توجه للاطفال ففيها لغة سهلة تجذب السامع إليها..
جميل ماتكتبين بنيتي واصلي رعاك الله.

إنها بالفعل كما ذكرت ، فقد كتبتها بناء على طلب إخوتي الصغار لكي أرويها لهم

سُعدت كثيرا برأيك سيدي
جزاك الله خيرا

[djazayri]

قصّة جميلة...
أخت أمال أنصحك بالإستمرار في الكتابة والنشر هنا بشكل خاصّ، لأنك ستجدين ضالتك في الدعم والتوجيه بإذن الله من أساتذة المنتدى الأدبي الكرام...

[بـــروال آمـــال]

قصّة جميلة...
أخت أمال أنصحك بالإستمرار في الكتابة والنشر هنا بشكل خاصّ، لأنك ستجدين ضالتك في الدعم والتوجيه بإذن الله من أساتذة المنتدى الأدبي الكرام...



و هذا ما أتمناه و قد وجدت من الدعم و التوجيه ما شجعني

الأجمل هو مرورك الكريم

[رحيل]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

جميل ما تكتبين و انت في هذه السن...
واصلي الكتابة و لا تتاخري في استشارة اهل الاختصاص و الاخذ عنهم...
و كما قال الاخ علي فهي تصلح للاطفال و ساتشرف بحكايتها لابنتي بعد ان تكبر قليلا...
تحياتي...

[بـــروال آمـــال]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

جميل ما تكتبين و انت في هذه السن...
واصلي الكتابة و لا تتاخري في استشارة اهل الاختصاص و الاخذ عنهم...
و كما قال الاخ علي فهي تصلح للاطفال و ساتشرف بحكايتها لابنتي بعد ان تكبر قليلا...
تحياتي...


و في الأستاذ علي و كل الشروقيين البركة

حياك الله
أسعدني مرورك و ردك
أوصل قبلاتي و سلامي إلى ابنتك

[the.edge]

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