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English Jokes
Peace be upon you,
I started a thread about jokes, but they already closed it so I decide to open a new thread. This time I'll share some hilarious jokes....Enjoy:) Joke: Fred is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."clap |
رد: English Jokes
hhaaaaahhhhaaaaaa. funny joke thank you ضـحـك |
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Stranger on a train
A scientist gets on a train to go to New York. His cabin also has a poor farmer in it. To pass the time the scientist decides to play a game with the guy. "I will ask you a question and if you get it wrog, you have to pay me 1 dollar. Then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong, you get 10 dollars. You ask me a question first." The farmer thinks for a while. " I know. What has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a palm tree, and 10 seconds to get back down?" The scientist is confused and thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train ride is coming to an end. As it pulls into the station, the scientist takes out 10 dollars and gives it to the farmer. "I don't know. What has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a palm tree and 10 seconds to get back down?" The farmer takes the 10 dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out 1 dollar and hands it to the scientist "I don't know"ضـحـك |
Re: English Jokes
Here's another hilarious joke
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!! Dear Bo$$ In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de $perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and$ervice to your company. I am$ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon. Your$ $incerely, Norman $oh The next day, the employee received this letter of reply: DearNOrman, I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must haveNOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet. NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I haveNOthing more to addNOw. You kNOw what I mean.sly |
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are you happy?
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God bless you
thanks |
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Alhamdoulilah!! I'm happy=) |
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قـهـقـهـة beautiful jokes you're soooo funny icon30 thanx a lot please add more jokes...if you have cupidarrow |
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Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Holmes said Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that The lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, Some ——- has stolen our tent."قـهـقـهـة |
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HHHHHHHHHHHHH Poooooor men |
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Men Should Listen A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "IDIOT!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. |
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Next time he will think twice before saying a word Thank you ZANAZ |
رد: English Jokes
He should listen to her n_o thanx brother |
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HOW TO MAKE A MAN & WOMAN HAPPY??
How to make a man and woman happy ? To make a woman happy ….. A man only needs to be: 1. A friend 2. A companion 3. A lover 4. A brother 5. A father 6. A master 7. A chef 8. An electrician 9. A carpenter 10. A plumber 11. A mechanic 12. A decorator 13. A stylist 16. A psychologist 17. A pest exterminator 18. A psychiatrist 19. A healer 20. A good listener 21. An organizer 22. A good father 23. Very clean 24. Sympathetic 25. Athletic 26. Warm 27. Attentive 28. Gallant 29. Intelligent 30. Funny 31. Creative 32. Tender 33. Strong 34. Understanding 35. Tolerant 36. Prudent 37. Ambitious 38. Capable 39. Courageous 40. Determined 41. True 42. Dependable 43. Passionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO : 44. Give her compliments regularly 45. Love shopping 46. be honest 47. be very rich 48. Not stress her out 49. Not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself 52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 53. Never to forget: * Birthdays * Anniversaries * Arrangements she makes & HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY: 1. Leave him aloneclap |
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Nissma Algeria and Unfaithful, you both are most welcome.bye1
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Thanks Hatem clapclap I guess I will be learnig so much things from you |
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Take good care of yourself!! |
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A Good Wife Can Balance Your Life
[IMG]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/k/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-2.jpg[/IMG] http://jokes.maktoob.com/JokesImages...28/Feature.jpg clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap [IMG]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/k/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot.jpg[/IMG][IMG]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/k/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.jpg[/IMG] |
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قـهـقـهـة that's so funny thanx a lot brothericon30 |
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it's really funny joke...thank you very much...your friend farouk. icon30
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Have a nice day my brother=) |
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Barbie Doll
A man was on his way home from work when he realised that he had forgotten his young daughtor's birthday. Knowing she liked dolls, he stopped off at a toy storeand asked the sales assistant whether they had any Barbie dolls in stock. "Sure" replied the sales girl."We have Barbie Goes to the Gym at 19.95 dollars, Barbie Goes o the Ball at 19.95 dollars. Barbie Goes Shopping at 19.95 dollars, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing at 19.95 dollars, and Divorced Barbie at 250 dollars. the man was perplexed. "Why are the others all 19.95 dollars and yet Divorced Barbie costs 250 dollars?" "Because," replied the sales girl, "divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat and Ken's furniture."surrenderclap |
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This is really hilariousclapclap
A man approached a pretty girl in a supermarket. "I have lost my wife. Can I talk to you?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a pretty girl, my wife appeares out of nowhere!"قـهـقـهـةقـهـقـهـة |
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thank you it is so funny
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hhhahhhaha i like the last one poor men n_o, she will never live him away قـهـقـهـة |
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I'm jolly glad to hear you liked the last joke, maybe the previous ones also. Take good care of yourself:) May Allah bring you peace and happiness. |
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hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes very funny
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
it's so funny |
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thank u so much I like it
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Lovely jokes
thanks 4 them |
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There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelonsbusted_red.
After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says “Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.”icon30 So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which read: “Now there are two"blehclap |
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A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.” Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.” The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?” The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.” |
رد: English Jokes
hhhh but his the one who is gonna marry not his parents!!
funny.i had the same problem once & reallyyy i don't wanna remember any thing about it cuze it was.......... thanks for the jock dear |
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You are welcome:) |
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Two friends came to visit Juha just as he was frying himself some quails. “This dish lacks salt,” said one friend after he had picked a bird out of the pan and tasted it. “It also lacks vinegar,” said the second friend, biting into another quail. Taking the last quail, Juha said, “What matter, since now it lacks quails!” |
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You're welcome |
| الساعة الآن 02:02 AM. |
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